we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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