You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
