Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
