I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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