I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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