i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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