Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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