Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
