yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
