the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
