ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
