she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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