**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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