i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
