im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
