just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
