dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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