I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
