omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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