alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
