He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
