Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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