I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
