i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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