he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
