it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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