help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
