but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
