it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
