16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
