plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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