Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
