Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
