Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
