I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she peed on how many people?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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