if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
