I just made out with a guy for $7.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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