Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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