If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
