please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
A+ Viking dick
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
