I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
