i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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