Kiss
Puke
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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