I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He has the fingertips of a God
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