I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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