I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
