Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
