Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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