If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
