So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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